In being a girl/ woman, I feel as though my body has learned how to complete a variety of movements that could best be described as “shimmies” to prevent wardrobe malfunctions. I truly look at this as a skill, as these shimmies usually require one to complete them in a way that if others were to see, it would be deemed as a normal movement ie. not an underwear adjustment.
If not completed in this fashion, you risk a call-out. This happened to me once where in the middle of a party one of my guy friends pointed at me, laughed aloud, and yelled, “haha DW you just fixed your thong. Yeah I saw that!” It was the worst.
My shimmy skill roster includes:
1. The oops my low-rider jeans are showing butt-crack, move jeans up shimmy
2. Shimmy into good posture position to prevent boobs falling out of low-cut blouse
3. Shimmy bra strap back into place
4. Shimmy overall bra adjustment
5. Shimmy move my slip up to prevent slip spotting under slit in skirt
6. Shimmy get rid of the muffin-top caused by tights
7. Shimmy to adjust overall muffin-top caused by anything
I may have others, trust, I am very experienced with this. What made me think to write about this today? I am currently experiencing #’s 2, 4, 5, and 6. Needless to say, not the best outfit day. My co-workers may or may not think I have ants in my pants.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment