Email Chain with My Mother

I have been emailing with my mom all day regarding health insurance papers, weekend responsibilites, etc.

This is the latest in a series:

Me: I'm famous on the internets (link to our company website and my photo...with quite a sad narrative on my prior experience)

Mom: looks good; we're impressed!! (like a good mom should)

Turn for the worse:

Me: I just went to the bathroom and realized that my favorite black vest, the one that brother calls my corset and also the favorite thing in my closet and the vest that K said I could wear every night because it helps me pick up men….and that I am wearing RIGHT NOW…is ripped in the back. How long have I been walking around all day thinking I look good but in reality like a fat girl in a little corset? I don’t know. Do my job responsibilities allow me to hide in my chair the rest of the day? No. Shall I start a new fad and wear my scarf backwards in an attempt to hide said rip? Its possible.

Ugh.

Oh and sorry I have been MIA...crazy busy at work. After next Wednesday this should be updated more often...many apologies.

UPDATE:
I am wearing scarf backwards. Going for an "OMG I am SO busy my scarf is just everwhere and I don't care or even know...so busy." How did this happen.