Post Weekend Update

I had a wedding this weekend. My poor friend had arranged for an outdoor reception and it ended up pouring throughout the entire day. Long story short I feel really bad for her and my new red shoes which are now covered in mud.

I did actually discover that daytime- evening receptions can be a hoot. This is because I was mildly sober and got to watch people line dance to songs that I did not even know called for such a dance and speak to the bride’s drunk mom who called a girl at our table a “skank” for leaving the party early.

And then came Sunday. K and I got stuck in horrid traffic coming back into the city. Few things about this:
1) I know NYC is a melting pot and so multi-cultural and blah blah blah but can I PLEASE find a radio station that is not either 1. Spanish 2. Indian or 3. Rap. Please.

2) I had my first displeasing experience with Sheetz. A creepy truck driver stood behind me in the screen order line. This was the one-way conversation that took place:
Creepy Guy: What are you going to get?
I place my finger on the “wrapz”.
CG: Oh yeah! Get a wrap! Oh what kind you gonna get? Get the beef. You should totally get the beef. Oh no get the chicken.
Me: ha uhhh.
CG: Oh man you making me want to get a wrap now!
Then he walked away. Unfortunately the wrap did not override the awkwardness that I endured ordering it.

3) I think big cities have a conspiracy to get people to pay the city by taking public transportation instead of driving their cars. No I am not high I am just a genius. My theory behind this revolves around the huge “Beware Congestion Ahead” signs placed on the highways leading into said cities. Yes, you do hit congestion. But why? Ever notice that when the signs stop the congestion stops? Why is this? There is hardly ever a cause. Accident? No. Construction? Nope. The traffic simply speeds up and off you go. If everyone just kept going 65mph and a comfortable distance behind the car in front of them everything would be fine! However, when a nervous driver sees a “congestion” sign they get nervous and begin to tap his/her brakes. There are studies behind this that confirm that one retard driver tapping their brakes can cause a traffic jam. K told me so and I believe her. I’ve broken the code. The city is evil.

At least today the Work Gods love me. I am tired to the point of exhaustion. My eyes are Asian from lack of sleep. I can’t walk because I decided today would be the day to break in my new 4 ½ inch pumps. These issues combined have almost run me into a few co-workers and walls while walking the hallways. Then there is the issue of maintaining a professional appearance while exhausted. I got Subway for lunch and was so hungry that I caught one of my co-workers silently laughing at me while he walked by my desk and I drooled ranch dressing and black olives while manhandling my 5 dollar footlong. Uhhhh…that could be a “that’s what she said.”

Anyways, the three meetings I had scheduled today got miraculously canceled. Halleluiah Amen to the Work Gods. I will now continue to do any work that needs done and does not require human interaction.