When Time is Not Your Friend

I have a case of the Mondays. I have been staring at my Dell Laptop clock for approximately 7 hours and 1 minute. And I want to die.

Time counting leads me to want to do inappropriate things. Like scream. Outloud. I get this overwhelming urge to just start yelling at the top of my lungs and have a minor freak out attack. What would people do? Then I become really intrigued by this thought. Intrigued to the point that I think I might actually go through with it. This in turn makes me very nervous that I may not be able to control it and then I will be very embarrassed.

To prevent myself from following through on this publicly inappropriate act, I attempt to distract myself with other musings. I have actually worked today, so that helps. Then when work makes me want to scream I check blogs or email. Today a random acquaintance requested to be my friend on Facebook. That is fun I thought, I totally forgot about him. This event distracted me for a small amount of time until a repressed memory of making out in a dark tapestry covered apartment with this now “acquaintance” with quotations flashed into my brain. Well…that is embarrassing.

I tried to push this event back into my vault of drunken black-out memories and decided to switch to the MSN site to keep from screaming. My MSN horoscope said that today I’m “looking especially beautiful, you're feeling especially sensual, and you could well attract admiring looks from strangers.” I don’t know what Cancer this MSN astrologist is talking about, but the fact that our office kitchen is currently housing free bagels from Trader Joes is not helping my carb count or the beauty factor. So that’s a bust. I decided to take another pretend water refill run to the kitchen. It’s pretend since I am really going for another small piece of bagel. Then my receptionist paranoia kicked in. I have really been into the kitchen way too often today. I think she knows that I am really going for a bite of bagel. That is embarrassing.

So now I am restricting myself to my desk for another…61 minutes. That is unless my pretend water refill run backfires and I have to pee which will of course force me to encounter the receptionist again. I might as well come walking out of the kitchen with bagel inserted in mouth.

It is true that my ideas for keeping myself from screaming have totally backfired since I want to scream even more than I did before. And oddly, today is really not even that bad of a day; I have certainly had worse. 58 minutes…