Exhibit A
Let me start by admitting that I am like one of two single girls (technically I am a woman, but I still feel weird using that term over girl- call me immature or anti-feminine I don’t care) in my office. This fact leads to many annoying conversations, polite smiles while co-workers drag on about boyfriend details, and mis-matched set-ups. It also incurs baby talk. Who’s pregnant, who’s looking to get pregnant, guess what my kid did today, yada, yada, yada. I, however, am still in the stage where I live in fear of a red plus sign on a pee stick.
I began thinking about the whole baby thing today while staring blankly at my computer pretending to do work. I have a cute little picture pinned up on my desk as a memorandum of my good friend who recently left our company. (see exhibit A) I had sent this picture to her as a joke with the subject line “___’s Baby” on a day she was complaining of stomach cramps and nausea. Actually, it was quite a difficult task as I remember how hard it was to find a cute, funny picture of an egg in Microsoft Office clip art. She had to clear out her desk on her last day and gave it back to me. Is it weird that I was actually touched that she found it funny enough to save it? Anyways, this made me think of a recent event.
Last week I dragged my gay boyfriend to the movie theater to see Juno with me. I have to tell you that he is not actually gay; in fact he is not even a metro-sexual. He is actually a very hetero-sexual, post-collegiate wrestler. My friend K and I call him our gay boyfriend because 1) we are both still single and don’t want him to get the wrong idea when we hang out with him alone, aka a polite way of insinuating “we are NOT on a real date right now” 2) we have always wanted a gay best friend- very “Sex and the City.”
I began thinking about the whole baby thing today while staring blankly at my computer pretending to do work. I have a cute little picture pinned up on my desk as a memorandum of my good friend who recently left our company. (see exhibit A) I had sent this picture to her as a joke with the subject line “___’s Baby” on a day she was complaining of stomach cramps and nausea. Actually, it was quite a difficult task as I remember how hard it was to find a cute, funny picture of an egg in Microsoft Office clip art. She had to clear out her desk on her last day and gave it back to me. Is it weird that I was actually touched that she found it funny enough to save it? Anyways, this made me think of a recent event.
Last week I dragged my gay boyfriend to the movie theater to see Juno with me. I have to tell you that he is not actually gay; in fact he is not even a metro-sexual. He is actually a very hetero-sexual, post-collegiate wrestler. My friend K and I call him our gay boyfriend because 1) we are both still single and don’t want him to get the wrong idea when we hang out with him alone, aka a polite way of insinuating “we are NOT on a real date right now” 2) we have always wanted a gay best friend- very “Sex and the City.”
Anyways, GBF and I went to Juno. So in the beginning part where she finds out she is pregnant after having pre-marital sex GBF leans over toward me and whispers, “Oh my God that is like a guy’s worst fear!” Ummm…oh no he didn't!
I am sorry GBF, but are you the one who has to expand to the size of a whale, endure hours upon hours of intense pain and accept the fact that your “Britney” will never, ever be the same? I don’t think so. Maybe boys should be made to wear those prego suits in high school health class. Maybe then they will refrain from ever making comments like that in the future. For his sake, I am glad we were only on a pseudo date.
I am sorry GBF, but are you the one who has to expand to the size of a whale, endure hours upon hours of intense pain and accept the fact that your “Britney” will never, ever be the same? I don’t think so. Maybe boys should be made to wear those prego suits in high school health class. Maybe then they will refrain from ever making comments like that in the future. For his sake, I am glad we were only on a pseudo date.
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